Category Archives: Social Media

Jun 01 2019
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Feminism, Opinion, Personal, Social Media, Uncategorized

Once Upon a Time on Hinge: The Beginning

One night, feeling particularly insecure about my two year relationship with my on-again, off-again, semi-exclusive, what-the-fuck boyfriend (we will call him J), I started posting Hinge content to my personal instagram account to do the only thing I knew how: make the motherfucker jealous. I would find prompts, rattle off witty responses, and post them to my stories. In addition to successfully rattling J, I also started getting pretty good feedback from my other followers about how funny my stories were. Eventually, enough people gave me the confidence to convince myself that I should create my own Instagram account solely devoted to Hinge content. I chose the name “Once Upon a Time on Hinge” because I loved the oxymoron of an antiquated phrase associated with romantic fairy tales being associated with content related to the most modern, and at times depraved form of courtship possible.

Eventually I started being reposted by much larger accounts, such as @unhingedny, and gained followers exponentially. J was semi-supportive of my new venture, although he muted my content because according to him, I was “spamming” his page.

Without getting into too many of the precipitating factors, when J asked to meet me for drinks on Tuesday, May 28, I had a pit in my stomach. We had been fighting a lot, and I had a strong feeling he was going to break up with me. The moment he sat down in front of me, I knew, and started bawling my eyes out (think Warner breaking up with Elle Woods in Legally Blonde… I was Elle). The break up itself was as pleasant as one could be. We both cried, said we loved each other, hugged for a long time, and then said goodbye for good.

I was crying in the Uber on the way home, and decided to share what had happened with a tearful video to my followers. My account is focused on dating, and something monumental had just occurred in my dating life. I have always wanted to cultivate a raw, real, and honest perspective on modern dating with my account, so I tearfully told my followers what had happened. To my absolute surprise, I immediately received hundreds of direct messages from followers, strangers, offering kind words of encouragement and love. I have never believed more in the good in humanity and the positive power of social media until that moment.

The nature of my account is naturally shifting further away from Hinge content (I am not ready to date again, at least not seriously, for the time being) to chronicles of post-breakup life. I am sure my account will continue to morph and change, but always in the most raw and authentic way possible.

So far, my account has taught me two very important lessons: (1) Chivalry is not dead (2) I might have to kiss a lot of frogs, but I will find my happily ever after.

Sep 07 2015
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Feminism, Social Media

But first… let me take a selfie.

I had to read this article for my feminist philosophy class, and it unleashed a contentious debate among the professor and my classmates as to whether “the female selfie” is a visible reflection of patriarchal social norms, or a pushback against the harsh beauty standards set forth by those norms. Here are my thoughts on the matter…

There are a lot of generalizations made about “the female selfie” both positive and negative. I think it would be impossible to make a definitive statement about why all women post selfies because every woman is different. Moreover, I think the desire to dualistically label “the female selfie” as good or bad simply highlights the fundamental misconception about feminism in general which is that all women want the same things or are motivated by the same things. Feminism is about giving women equal opportunity, and then supporting whatever they decide to do with those opportunities. I am sure some women post selfies solely to attract men, some post selfies out of self-love, some are rebelling against harsh beauty standards set forth by gender norms, etc.

I know girls that have posted sexy, albeit filtered selfies on Instagram after a harsh breakup to make an ex-boyfriend jealous. I also have friends that post selfies with no makeup on to show that that is how they feel most beautiful. I also know women that feel most confident with their makeup done, and if they love how their winged eyeliner turns out one day they might post a selfie to show it off to their followers. I have never personally posted a selfie on social media- but I have definitely taken many a selfie (my biggest source of anxiety is someone scrolling through my camera roll). And, who knows- maybe one day I’ll change my mind and decide to post one. I would never judge another woman for posting a selfie, but more importantly I would never form an opinion on “the female selfie” as if it is an ontologically distinct entity rather than an umbrella that describes just one way women can express themselves through social media.

So, I decided to post my first selfie right here. I’m not trying to impress a man, or rebel against the patriarchy. I’m not trying to love myself more, or to seek anyone’s approval. It’s just a picture I took of myself.

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JUDGE AWAY! Or don’t. Doesn’t matter to me!

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