Once Upon a Time Dating

I didn’t have high expectations walking into Ted 2. First of all, sequels are usually disappointing- and they are painfully disappointing when the original film is so incredible. However, within the first ten minutes of Ted 2 I scolded myself for having ever doubted Seth Macfarlane. I was already laughing out loud (which I rarely do).

Whoever put together the commercials for Ted 2 needs to be fired immediately because they DO NOT offer an accurate preview of the film. Yes, the core premise of the movie is Ted suing for his civil rights to be considered a “person”, but the laid-back, yet highly intelligent humor that made the original Ted such a classic is what really weaves this movie together.

Macfarlane knows what his audience wants to see, so there is no shortage of scenes showing John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted just hanging out and smoking weed on the couch. I was worried that Amanda Seyfried, who plays Ted’s lawyer, would be wide-eyed and annoying but she was surprisingly self-deprecating and funny.

I saw the movie the same day that the marriage equality Supreme Court decision was announced, so listening to Morgan Freeman (who plays Ted’s lawyer for his appeal) discuss marriage equality (as well as gender and racial equality) with the jury was particularly potent.

Go see Ted 2 with your thunder-buddy.

I definitely had some reservations before seeing the “Entourage” movie. I was a devoted fan of the show (even though it was douchey and ridiculous at times), and feared that the movie would succumb to the “Sex and the City” curse of going against the original model of the show to make it more ostentatious and pretentious. Surprisingly, the movie did exactly the opposite.

The movie was essentially a 1 hour and 44 minute version of what a season of “Entourage” could have been. Even the opening credits were modeled after the original beginning and used the song “Superhero”. The plot of the movie was simple: Vince decides to direct and star in his own movie, and the Texas mogul investor’s son (the investor is played by Billy Bob Thorton, and his son is played by Haley Joel Osment (does he still see dead people?)) isn’t a fan of the film. I won’t give any more away, but will say that the plot has an endearing, albeit conspicuous twist.

The interactions between Vince, Eric, Turtle, Johnny, and Ari are as clever and charming as ever. The celebrity cameos were frequent (Liam Neeson, Jessica Alba, Kelsey Grammar, etc.), but much more restrained than I thought they would be. My favorite meta-moment was Ari passing Liam Neeson in his car, Liam Neeson telling Ari to “fuck off”, and Ari screaming, “Come on Schindler! Don’t leave a Jew behind!”

I was slightly baffled at the negative reviews and backlash the movie is receiving, but have to assume that the critics who disliked the film were not fans of the show. There were countless subtle references to the series that only a fan could appreciate. My sister (who is also a fan) and I almost cried at the end.

Grab your personal entourage and go see this movie. Appreciate the fun and entertaining film for what it is!

So last night, on Valentines Day, I saw Fifty Shades of Grey. However, it was in the least cliché way possible with my sister, in sweatpants, sneaking in kettle corn from Trader Joes. Anyway, here are my thoughts…

• Do not see this movie at 9 pm with a horde of immature high school students. Actually, maybe do. The commentary was hilarious and kind of mirrored what was going on in my head anyway.
• Elaborating on my last point, if seen in a crowded movie theater, be prepared to listen to bellowing and laughing throughout the entire film. Partially because the movie is SO cheesy, and partially because seeing erotic porn with a group of strangers is awkward and uncomfortable.
• I read all three books back in high school and forgot how ridiculous the plotline and one-liners really are. Many of the lines my sister and I made faces at were actually verbatim from the novel. For example, “Anastasia, you are biting your lip. You know what that does to me” is way less hot in film than it is in print.
• I originally didn’t find Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) sexy at all, but after seeing the movie I do. You’ll see why. My sister would like to add that she still thinks he’s ugly.
• The books are kinky and erotic, but there is a level of underlying romance that clearly made the series a remarkable success. However, the S&M in the movie is lacking the concealed passion behind the violence and seemed unreasonably abusive on Christian’s part.
• They showed a preview for the documentary on the history of the woman’s rights’ movement, “She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry” coming out December 5^th (which looks brilliant by the way) before the film. It skewed the way I watched a movie about a woman allowing a man to beat her with a belt because “it’s just who he is”.
• Do not see this movie with your parents.

All of that being said, I laughed, squirmed, and had a lot of fun. It’s worth seeing, especially if you read the books and are dying to see what “the red room of pain” looks like on the big screen.