Once Upon a Time Dating

My sister made me watch Requiem for a Dream last night, and I have to say it was the most frightening movie I’ve seen in a while. Chloe and I have this thing where after we see a movie sometimes we will say it “changed” us, because it was so weird and horrifying (examples from the past include Camp, Taxi Driver, Fight Club and Black Swan) and this movie was the epitome of that. I’m going to be honest, while the Jennifer Connelly/ her unknown boyfriend/ one of the Wayan’s brother’s story lines were terrifying, nothing scared me more than Sarah Goldfarb’s (Ellen Burstyn) storyline. Maybe because when you see people on heroin you know they are going to screw up their lives, but you never think that diet pills can really mess someone up. The image of her on the train in that red dress will probably haunt me forever, and definitely gave me nightmares last night. Darren Aronofsky has a true talent for portraying peoples’ downward spirals into madness (and for wearing scarves), and I think Sarah Goldfarb’s story is his best. Also, I just have to mention that Jennifer Connelly had ombre hair in this movie and it was made almost 13 years ago, so props to the costume designer for being really fashion forward. I guess Sarah kind of had ombre hair too, but it was more gray-red than brown-blonde.

What movies are so freaky they have “changed” you?

I know this post might receive some negative commentary, but I’m ok with it. I’m going to tell you all why I love the Kardashians- and not in the “love to hate” them way, I actually love them.

First of all, say what you want about them, but they are ambitious. Maybe they didn’t get famous in the most classy way possible, but once they became famous they could have had their fifteen minutes and been over- but they have become an empire and the most powerful and wealthy family in America. So when people say they have no talent, I say that they are talented at making money. I don’t know about you, but that’s a talent I wouldn’t mind having.

Also, they are AWARE of how ridiculous they are. If you watch their shows, they always talk about how they miss when they dressed themselves, lived more modestly, and weren’t so insanely famous. In one scene Kim was videochatting with Khloe and said, “We try so hard now it’s embarrassing.” I agree that they dress outrageous and pull crazy publicity stunts, but at the end of the day they are a tight knit family who is aware that they are doing all of this for the job. They are all in it together, and there is something endearing about that.

They are also hilarious. I remember I realized how much I truly loved them when there was a scene in Kim’s apartment in one of the earlier seasons, and she had a framed picture of Khloe’s DUI mug shot on her kitchen counter. I turned to my sister, who also happens to be named Chloe, and told her I would do the same thing if she ever had a mug shot. Maybe you have to have our sense of humor to understand why I find that hilarious, but I just think that if you can’t make fun of your family members who can?

Most importantly, they are all always there for each other. You hear a lot about Kim’s ass, her boyfriends, and Bruce Jenner’s plastic surgery- but one thing you never hear about are feuds among the family members. I find it incredible that in a family with five sisters, one brother, two husbands (counting Scott as a husband), one baby out of wedlock, a mother like Kris Jenner, and a stepfather with many other children, you never hear about family feuds. Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe have never stopped supporting each other, and I think that says a lot about their character.

Mason is also the most adorable little thing I have ever seen and I am kind of in love with him.

This past weekend my family and I made the six-hour trek up to New Hampshire to visit my little brother, Zach, at camp!

So, this post is going to be in honor of my bro, who is even more (WAY MORE) obsessed with movies than I am. We always play a game with each other where we try to list our ten favorite movies of all time (in order), and debate which movies shouldn’t be on the list/ discuss which movies are on both of our lists. I’m going to put my list here and I want all of you to think about what ten movies would be on your list. Zach and I define our favorite movies as ones you can watch over and over and they never get old, and we have to like every single part of the movie. That last rule is important, because Pulp Fiction was on my list for a while but considering I hate the Bruce Willis part it had to go off the list. Anyway, here I go! Are any of my movies on your list?

1. Mean Girls
2. The Social Network
3. Inglourious Basterds
4. American Beauty
5. The Shawshank Redemption
6. The Parent Trap
7. The Devil Wears Prada
8. Legally Blonde
9. Rosemary’s Baby
10. American Psycho

Sorry for the delay people! Here we go: Breaking Bad recap. Hold on to your yellow jumpsuits and your ricin cigarettes.

First of all, I have to say that I really am a different person when Breaking Bad is in season. I feel like I have something to look forward to, something that gets me through the work week. Lately when anything annoys me, all I have to do is think about next week’s Breaking Bad and I feel better. It’s sort of like how Mad Men was for me in the Spring, only Breaking Bad is a better show.

Anyway, let’s start at the beginning. I have to be honest, I was really confused by the New Hampshire scene. Only after consulting Lace it Up’s number one fan, Breaking Bad scholar, and my mom’s best friend, Barbra Wineburg (hey Barbra), did I realize that it was like the “stuffed animal in the pool” scenes from Season 2, and that we probably won’t understand it until later in the season. All I have to say is Walt looked MAD hipsta with his long hair and thick rimmed glasses, he’s shadily using a fake ID (the diner waitress isn’t the bouncer at Liv, chill Walt), and that breakfast looked really gross.

Interestingly, I think that Walt and Jesse are in a very similar place that they were at in the beginning of last season. They just killed someone, and have to pick up the pieces. Only this time it’s not just Nerdy Gail (sorry Gail), it’s King Gus. Much bigger deal. And is it just me, or do you guys really miss Gus? I thought he was such an amazing character, and one of the best villains to ever appear on TV. I felt going into this season of Breaking Bad how I felt going into Season 3 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, which was the first without Danielle Staub. I wondered how the show could possibly go on. But Theresa just wound up replacing Danielle, so I’m sure someone else will replace Gus. And who knows, maybe Gus can come back for flashbacks. One can only hope.

I was glad they showed Walt realizing that he still had the Lily of the Valley plant. When last season closed, I was kind of wondering why Walt, someone so meticulous, would just leave that hanging out in his backyard. But after he hid the plant in his trunk, he realized he was forgetting about something else: the surveillance camera on Gus’s laptop that casually shows him and Jesse cooking meth. Oy. Walt and Jesse travel to see Mike and convince him to join in on their plan to destroy the laptop. Alright, I’m going to be honest- I felt like scenes showing them debating destroying the laptop, deciding to destroy the laptop, testing the magnet to destroy the laptop, and ultimately destroying the laptop, were all a little excessive. I would have liked to see this loose end tied up a little more neatly so that the episode could have covered more ground.

A big discovery in this episode was that Ted didn’t die when he slammed against the table- he was just badly injured. Well, this was supposedly a big discovery, but was I the only one who knew right away that he wasn’t dead? Not just because him being alive would add complexity to the “cooking the books” plot line, but simply because I have fallen harder than that and have gotten right up and laughed about it. I was actually surprised he was so injured, as the fall didn’t really look so bad. Either way, he’s alive, so Skyler had to visit him at the hospital to make sure he didn’t and will never tell anyone about the circumstances surrounding his injury. He said he wouldn’t breathe a word of it, and Skyler just replied, “Good.” I don’t blame her for being so curt. Last season I remember thinking that if Skyler had to tell this asshole ONE MORE TIME to send the check to the IRS I was going to freak out. “It. Doesn’t. Work. Like. That. Ted….You. Will. Go. To. Prison”- isn’t that how Skyler always said it? Ugh, I’m picturing it now, so annoying.

The closing scene, with Walt telling Skyler that he forgives her for giving the money to Ted, gave me chills. It demonstrates how evil and almost sociopathic Walt has become. Essentially everything negative that has happened to Skyler, Walt Jr., Hank, and Marie since Walt started cooking meth was ALL because Walt started cooking meth, and he doesn’t seem to have any remorse. I imagine that everyone watching the scene had the same horrified look that Skyler had acting in the scene. The fact that Walt was so calm and serene after just recently commiting murder indicated to Skyler how ruthless he has become. That scene was a turning point.

Sidenote: I just want to remind everyone that in Season 1 Marie was a clepto. That storyline feels so random to me now that I really know and understand who Marie’s character is, and I just want to remind all of you of it in case you forgot.

Sidenote 2: When will Walt lose the “post-nose job” bandage?

Sidenote 3: Who else misses HECTOOOOR?

Real Housewives of New Jersey: I actually kind of liked this episode, even though a lot of it concentrated on the Manzos. Caroline finally met Albie’s girlfriend Lindsay, who looked frightened out of her mind. If I was meeting my boyfriend’s mom on national TV, and his mom was Caroline Manzo, and it was in a gay bar, I would probably be the same way, so no judgment. In the preview for the next episode Albie talks about choosing between BLK and Lindsay, but I recently read that him and Lindsay aren’t together anymore. Soooo, awk.

Jaqueline didn’t do anything of note in this episode, once again. As my dad has said, “I don’t like her, she adds nothing to the mix.” Well said, Ira. All she did was act fake- nice to Theresa at Antonia’s birthday party, and Theresa acted fake-nice back. If I wanted to watch women being fake towards each other I would go to a sleep away camp’s visiting day. When I want to watch women rip each other’s hair out, I watch Real Housewives. Bravo, take note. That was boring.

It was kind of interesting to watch Melissa and Theresa have an almost pleasant conversation with each other, as they planned to have Sunday night dinners again. Oh boy, I can’t wait to see that. Also Milania called Joe Giudice a poop head. Word, Milania. Word.

Oh and Rosie had her new lesbian lova over for dinner at the Wakiles’ house. And Rich weirdly hit on her. I still think the Wakiles are the most normal of any Real Housewife family of any of the shows, which is probably why they are the most boring.

Next episode Melissa sings at Beatstock and Gia dances at Beatstock, and they have a creepy 10 year old vs. 30-something year old competition. Oh, that reminds me, was anyone else wondering why Gia was dressed like a baby prostitute at that dance rehearsal?

Real Housewives of New York City: I don’t know guys, I don’t know. So I still love the new women, minus Heather (kind of), but they are so likeable that it’s all getting kind of boring. Watching Carol, Heather, Luann, and Sonja at that slumber party in London made me feel like I was reading a Judy Blume novel. I thought at any minute they would start chanting, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” It was all kind of sweet to watch I guess, but why wasn’t Kelly there to scream about gummy bears? Why wasn’t Alex there to turn bright red and stomp away in her “Herman Munster” shoes? Why wasn’t Jill there to attempt to make everything about her? And why wasn’t Cindy there to do absolutely nothing except take up space? Nostalgia…

The only drama that happened in London was Luann dissing Carole for not standing up during that weird dinner where everyone at the table had to talk about what they love about “Yummy Tummy”. And then someone called Carole a princess and Luann was kind of jealous because she’s only a countess. Cooooooool.

Back in New York Ramona was being wildly inappropriate and asking Aviva to see her fake leg, analyze her fake leg, and ask her way too many questions about her fake leg; it was all very refreshing to watch. Finally, some crazy! But then Ramona and Mario went to dinner with Aviva and Reid and it was all pretty civilized… ugh.

What do you guys think: is this season more boring because it features more normal (and less bat shit crazy) women?

Real Housewives of Orange County: Reunion time! It wasn’t that great, because it’s only part one and they always save the good stuff for part two, but there were still some good moments.

What I love most about these reunions is that all of the women have such a clear agenda that the questions are pointless- they are asked a question and don’t even answer it, they just say whatever they planned on saying in the countless hours they probably spent preparing for the show. Like when Andy asked Heather how she felt when Alexis said she’s not a real actress, and Heather just started talking about how Alexis had no training for her Fox 5 show and did a really bad job.

I thought Alexis made a really good point when she said that Tamra’s comments don’t bother her, because you have to value someone’s opinion for what they say to affect you. My sister and I were eating dinner as we watched that scene, and almost in unison said, “Burnnnnnn!” You go Alexis.

Then the women yelled at Vicki about Brooks some more, which made NO sense to me. My best friends have had boyfriends I don’t like or approve of, and I have never said a word. Maybe this makes me a bad friend, but it’s NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Unless I knew someone’s boyfriend was abusing her I would never get involved. When someone is in love with someone nothing you say can change her mind, and you have to let it run its course.  What did the women think- that in the middle of the reunion Vicki would say, “Oh god, you guys are right. Brooks is a bad guy. BRB, let me go call him and break up with him.” Brooks sucks, we get it, but just worry about yourselves. Vicki will figure it out.

Then Andy was attacked by a bird and I laughed out loud. His face was golden.

So here it comes… a post about Fifty Shades of Grey. I know people’s opinions about the book are everywhere and this topic might seem tired and unoriginal at this point, but I just couldn’t blog about pop culture and not comment on the biggest sensation since Twilight.

I’m not going to summarize the book, because if you are reading this you have probably either read it or someone you know has read it and explained it to you. I’m also not going to give my opinion on the book itself, because I really think the same thing about it that everyone else does: it’s not well-written but it’s addicting.

Rather, I’m going to pose a question to all of you- why do you think women are so infatuated with Christian Grey? Sure, he’s described as extremely good-looking, but he’s also pretentious, violent, controlling, and won’t let anyone touch him.

Here’s what I think: I think we all love Christian Grey because he hurts Anastasia, and we all subconsciously hate Anastasia. All she does is whine and complain, she gets upset when she loses too much weight (which NO WOMAN WOULD EVER DO), and acts like her life is so terrible all the time when let’s be honest, she doesn’t have it that bad. Anastasia: you don’t have cancer, you aren’t poor, you are really skinny, you have a hot guy who loves you- what’s so bad? Anastasia is such a horrendous character that we are able to forgive Christian for hurting her, because we all kind of want to hurt her. Not in a kinky way, but I don’t think any of us would mind giving her a bitch slap.

You are probably reading this and thinking I’m crazy, but if Anastasia was a normal, confident, REAL woman you would probably be rooting for her and think that Christian is a bad influence. Anastasia is just so pathetic that we don’t even care what happens to her. Twilight is the same way- Bella is a brooding and superficial girl so we are basically in love with the person (Edward) who is making her life a living hell.

What do you think?