Everyone that knows me is aware that Mean Girls is my favorite movie of all time. I have watched the movie over and over to the point that I could rehearse the entire script by heart (trust me, my sister and I have done it before), and my camp friends and I mastered the slutty and scandalous “Jingle Bell Rock” dance at the ripe age of thirteen. While The Parent Trap and Clueless definitely tie for second, Tina Fey’s 2004 classic undoubtedly takes first… here are my top five reasons why:
- Its quote-ability
I can find a Mean Girls quote to apply to every situation, Instagram picture, comeback, etc. While I worship every sentence spoken in Mean Girls, these are the quotes I use the most:
“Stop trying to make fetch happen, it’s not going to happen”
“I can’t go to Taco Bell I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you’re so stupid”
“You go, Glen Coco!” (I use this one the most)
“Get in loser, we’re going shopping”
“You can’t just ask someone why they’re white…”
“So you agree… you think you’re really pretty” (This is what I would like to comment on every selfie a girl uploads to Instagram)
“Grool”
“Boo, you whore!”
“Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others’ awesomeness?”
“I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat, and be happy…” “She doesn’t even go here!” “Do you even go to this school?” “No… I just have a lot of feelings…” “Ok, go home…”
“Say crack again” “Crack!”
“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
- Its on-point description of how girls operate
As a senior in college, I think it’s safe to say I get how girls think and how they operate. In the movie, Regina is trying to get revenge on Cady for liking her ex-boyfriend Aaron Samuels by getting back together with him. Then, Cady tries to get revenge on Regina by exposing to Aaron that she is secretly hooking up with Shane Omen in the projection room above the auditorium. Cady joins forces with Janis and Damien to ruin Regina’s life for ruining Janice’s life (when she was excluded from Regina’s all-girls pool party in middle school because Regina thought Janis was a lesbian). When Regina finds out about this, she tries to get revenge on Cady by pinning the whole Burn Book and her and making the entire school hate her. But what this movie really shows, is that all of these acts of revenge and “meanness” stem from insecurities and self-doubt every young girl faces. We all spread rumors and go behind each other’s backs because we are all secretly afraid that that is what everyone is doing to us. Simply put, being a girl is fucking scary.
- Its on-point description of female cliques
Janis: You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don’t eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks,
[a picture of herself and Damian come on screen]
Janis: the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of plastics.
- In the end, Cady offers the best wisdom
“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.”
Being mean is a defense mechanism against getting hurt. To find true happiness, you need to stop trying to climb the social ladder and be around people who accept you for who you really are. Which brings me to my last reason…
- The moral of the story: life is a whole lot easier when you stop fighting and back-stabbing, and can just float…
“All the drama of last year just wasn’t important anymore. School used to be a shark tank, but now I could just float… Finally, Girl World was at peace”
There you have it… this movie is utterly perfect in every way. When I become a teacher, I will make it my mission to have this movie screened to every freshman girl on their first day of ninth grade.
I end on this note…
Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain’t got nothin’ on me! From my grades, to my lines you can’t touch Kevin G! I’m a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I’m like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred – I’m Kevin Gnapoor! The G’s silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don’t play it like Shaggy, you’ll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she’ll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!
Thank you Kevin, that’s enough.
Happy Holidays Everybody!
Once Upon a Time Dating 