Once Upon a Time Dating

Real Housewives of New Jersey: I actually kind of liked this episode, even though a lot of it concentrated on the Manzos. Caroline finally met Albie’s girlfriend Lindsay, who looked frightened out of her mind. If I was meeting my boyfriend’s mom on national TV, and his mom was Caroline Manzo, and it was in a gay bar, I would probably be the same way, so no judgment. In the preview for the next episode Albie talks about choosing between BLK and Lindsay, but I recently read that him and Lindsay aren’t together anymore. Soooo, awk.

Jaqueline didn’t do anything of note in this episode, once again. As my dad has said, “I don’t like her, she adds nothing to the mix.” Well said, Ira. All she did was act fake- nice to Theresa at Antonia’s birthday party, and Theresa acted fake-nice back. If I wanted to watch women being fake towards each other I would go to a sleep away camp’s visiting day. When I want to watch women rip each other’s hair out, I watch Real Housewives. Bravo, take note. That was boring.

It was kind of interesting to watch Melissa and Theresa have an almost pleasant conversation with each other, as they planned to have Sunday night dinners again. Oh boy, I can’t wait to see that. Also Milania called Joe Giudice a poop head. Word, Milania. Word.

Oh and Rosie had her new lesbian lova over for dinner at the Wakiles’ house. And Rich weirdly hit on her. I still think the Wakiles are the most normal of any Real Housewife family of any of the shows, which is probably why they are the most boring.

Next episode Melissa sings at Beatstock and Gia dances at Beatstock, and they have a creepy 10 year old vs. 30-something year old competition. Oh, that reminds me, was anyone else wondering why Gia was dressed like a baby prostitute at that dance rehearsal?

Real Housewives of New York City: I don’t know guys, I don’t know. So I still love the new women, minus Heather (kind of), but they are so likeable that it’s all getting kind of boring. Watching Carol, Heather, Luann, and Sonja at that slumber party in London made me feel like I was reading a Judy Blume novel. I thought at any minute they would start chanting, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” It was all kind of sweet to watch I guess, but why wasn’t Kelly there to scream about gummy bears? Why wasn’t Alex there to turn bright red and stomp away in her “Herman Munster” shoes? Why wasn’t Jill there to attempt to make everything about her? And why wasn’t Cindy there to do absolutely nothing except take up space? Nostalgia…

The only drama that happened in London was Luann dissing Carole for not standing up during that weird dinner where everyone at the table had to talk about what they love about “Yummy Tummy”. And then someone called Carole a princess and Luann was kind of jealous because she’s only a countess. Cooooooool.

Back in New York Ramona was being wildly inappropriate and asking Aviva to see her fake leg, analyze her fake leg, and ask her way too many questions about her fake leg; it was all very refreshing to watch. Finally, some crazy! But then Ramona and Mario went to dinner with Aviva and Reid and it was all pretty civilized… ugh.

What do you guys think: is this season more boring because it features more normal (and less bat shit crazy) women?

Real Housewives of Orange County: Reunion time! It wasn’t that great, because it’s only part one and they always save the good stuff for part two, but there were still some good moments.

What I love most about these reunions is that all of the women have such a clear agenda that the questions are pointless- they are asked a question and don’t even answer it, they just say whatever they planned on saying in the countless hours they probably spent preparing for the show. Like when Andy asked Heather how she felt when Alexis said she’s not a real actress, and Heather just started talking about how Alexis had no training for her Fox 5 show and did a really bad job.

I thought Alexis made a really good point when she said that Tamra’s comments don’t bother her, because you have to value someone’s opinion for what they say to affect you. My sister and I were eating dinner as we watched that scene, and almost in unison said, “Burnnnnnn!” You go Alexis.

Then the women yelled at Vicki about Brooks some more, which made NO sense to me. My best friends have had boyfriends I don’t like or approve of, and I have never said a word. Maybe this makes me a bad friend, but it’s NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Unless I knew someone’s boyfriend was abusing her I would never get involved. When someone is in love with someone nothing you say can change her mind, and you have to let it run its course.  What did the women think- that in the middle of the reunion Vicki would say, “Oh god, you guys are right. Brooks is a bad guy. BRB, let me go call him and break up with him.” Brooks sucks, we get it, but just worry about yourselves. Vicki will figure it out.

Then Andy was attacked by a bird and I laughed out loud. His face was golden.